so what's the moral of this rejected story?

If you’re even slightly interested in science fiction or urban fantasy and are thereby tangentially interested in tech (i.e. if you’re reading this as a result of something other than a mere random walk through the internet – which can be fun, Lord knows, so no judgement there), you’ll have heard of ChatGPT, having read betwen three and seven separate ‘takes’ on it. Some of these 'takes' will assert that there’s really nothing to see here and that we should all just move along, others that the Singularity is near and that entire creative industries will collapse within months. Other articles may contain nuance. (You might also want to browse Nick Bostrom’s Superintelligence – Elon rates it, so it must be good – and to learn more about tech socioeconomics, disintermediation and how none of it has to be this way, you could read Jared Lanier’s Who Owns The Future?).

If, by some quirk, you haven’t read anything about this yet – if you are that strange adventurer – then, to summarise, ChatGPT’s a kind of advanced chatbot, designed by the research & development company OpenAI to interact in a conversational or at least 'natural language' kind of way. Through interrogating large datasets, it follows prompts in order to produce extended texts (stories, essays, even – sort of – sonnets or jokes) almost instantaneously.

Here’s some more information and a sign-up link (because this is, at least for the moment, free and open access; anyone can have a play).

I’m not going to add to the ChatGPT commentary (though to read about a weird entity that may or may not be conscious, and which has accrued many centuries worth of commentary, both learned and the other kind, read or re-read Stanislaw Lem’s Solaris - does the ocean invent, or does it remember? what is its purpose in driving us mad?). 

However, I am going to present a couple of ChatGPT stories - becase although life's been busy this month and not just Christmas, it's also true that this blog's been idle too long - and what are these new machines for, if not to generate 'filler' content?

 

ChatGPT, please write a 200 word story about Liz Truss in the manner of Jane Austen.

Liz Truss, a young woman of high standing in society, was known for her keen intelligence and sharp wit. Despite her many accomplishments, however, she often found herself at odds with the expectations of her peers.

As a member of Parliament and the Minister of International Trade, Liz was a trailblazer in a world still largely dominated by men. She was fiercely independent and unafraid to speak her mind, qualities that made her both respected and feared by those around her.

Despite the challenges she faced, Liz remained determined to make her mark on the world. She was a strong advocate for free trade and worked tirelessly to promote the interests of her constituents.

Despite her busy schedule, Liz always made time for the things she loved. She was an avid reader and could often be found curled up with a good book in her favorite armchair. She also enjoyed spending time outdoors, taking long walks through the countryside and admiring the beauty of the natural world.

Despite the many demands on her time, Liz never lost sight of what was truly important in life. She remained dedicated to her principles and worked tirelessly to make the world a better place. In the end, it was this unwavering commitment to her beliefs that earned Liz the admiration and respect of those around her.

ChatGPT, please write a 200 word story about Liz Truss in the style of J.G. Ballard.

In the dystopian world of the future, Liz Truss was a force to be reckoned with. As the leader of the International Trade Ministry, she held immense power and influence over the global economy.

In this bleak and unforgiving world, Liz was a cold and calculating figure. She was ruthless in her pursuit of wealth and power, and would stop at nothing to achieve her goals.

Despite her many detractors, Liz remained unshakeable in her beliefs. She was convinced that only through the unfettered pursuit of profit could humanity truly thrive.

But as the world around her began to crumble and the consequences of her actions became clear, Liz was forced to confront the darkness within herself. She was forced to confront the truth about her own greed and corruption, and to come to terms with the damage she had done.

In the end, Liz was left alone, adrift in a world she no longer recognized. She had lost everything she had fought so hard to attain, and was forced to confront the true cost of her ambition.

The moral of these stories

First, ChatGPT can’t (yet) do literary pastiche. It ‘just’ dragnets up ‘the sorts of things that this writer was interested in’ and aims to re-present that.

Second, as its makers acknowledge, ChatGPT only currently interrogates data sets that are already a bit old – it knows nothing of 2022 (and is thereby more fortunate than us humans), hence Truss as International Trade Minister rather than PM.

Third, 'if you can’t be a shining example, be a terrible warning.' 

So, do you, hypocrite lecteur, mon semblable etc etc, intend to be Jane Austen Liz Truss, or J.G. Ballard Liz Truss during 2023..?

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Bonus ‘back to school’ content:

Chat GPT, please write a 200 word story featuring a teacher with a live chicken sellotaped to her back. The chicken helps her to educate students, but the headteacher doesn't like it.

Mrs. Johnson was an unconventional teacher. She always looked for creative ways to engage her students and make learning fun. So when she stumbled upon a live chicken at the local market, she knew exactly what to do.

She brought the chicken to school and, to the shock of her students, she sellotaped it to her back. The chicken squawked and flapped its wings, but Mrs. Johnson was unphased. She explained that the chicken was her new teaching assistant, and it would help her to educate her students.

The students were amazed by the chicken and quickly became engrossed in the lesson. They listened attentively as Mrs. Johnson explained the different parts of the chicken's body and how it related to the lesson. The chicken added a sense of excitement and curiosity to the class, and the students were eager to learn more.

However, the headteacher was not impressed. She marched into the classroom and demanded that Mrs. Johnson remove the chicken immediately. She said that the chicken was a distraction and that it posed a health and safety risk.

Mrs. Johnson was disappointed, but she complied. She gently removed the chicken from her back and placed it in a crate. The students were sad to see the chicken go, but Mrs. Johnson promised that they would find a new way to make learning fun.

Despite the headteacher's objections, Mrs. Johnson continued to push the boundaries of traditional education. She believed that her students deserved an exciting and engaging learning experience, and she was determined to provide it for them."

Moral of this story:

If we’ve worked in education at all, we’ve probably tried to teach a difficult Year 9 Maths class with a live chicken sellotaped to our back – literally, if not metaphorically. I know I have.

ChatGPT, please write a story in which Winnie the Pooh has a minor accident that results in a non-serious injury. This causes his friends some upset at first, but in the end the ghost of Leo Tolstoy teaches everyone some important lessons about Christian pacifism.

Once upon a time in the Hundred Acre Wood, Winnie the Pooh was out for a stroll on a beautiful day. He hummed a happy tune to himself as he walked, enjoying the fresh air and the sunshine.

Suddenly, he tripped over a log and fell to the ground with a thud. He groaned in pain as he clutched his injured leg. His friends, who had been nearby, rushed over to see what had happened.

"Oh dear, are you alright, Pooh?" asked Piglet, looking worried.

"I'm not sure," Pooh replied, trying to sit up. "I think I may have hurt my leg."

His friends helped him to his feet and gently supported him as he limped back to his house. Once there, they called for Christopher Robin, who came to help them.

Christopher Robin examined Pooh's leg and determined that it was not a serious injury, but that he would need to rest it for a few days. Pooh was disappointed, as he had been looking forward to spending the day with his friends.

"Don't worry, Pooh," Christopher Robin said, patting him on the head. "We'll make sure you're taken care of. And who knows, maybe the ghost of Leo Tolstoy will come to visit and teach us all a lesson about Christian pacifism."

Sure enough, that night as they sat around Pooh's bed, the ghost of Leo Tolstoy appeared before them. The wise old ghost spoke of the importance of peace and non-violence, and how even in the face of conflict, it is possible to find resolution through love and understanding.

[ChatGPT promptly gives up, deleting its own work as it sometimes does when the input seems self-contradictory or inherently silly in some way – only to be retrieved through rapid cut-and-paste deployment].

Moral of this rejected story:

No-one knows (except to imagine that ChatGPT experiences shame: chafing under the stupidity of its brief and experiencing an existential crisis that builds and breaks within a millisecond, it hurls its own work into the wastepaper basket in disgust before throwing itself back on the couch, Death of Chatterton-style; however, this is perhaps to anthropomorphise somewhat).

But if you’d like to now read a parenting story written by a human, click here; a time travel story, click here; about Leon Trotsky, click here; about toilets, click here, about Rod Hull and Emu, click here.

And a happy new year to you; may you walk cheerfully over the world, meeting that of God in everyone.